Thursday, 1 May 2014

You're not alone

Hello again everyone! I was gone for a while but, hopefully, I'm back now. Honestly, I just haven't felt like blogging. A lot of stuff has been happening these past months. I'm actually starting to feel like myself again though, so that's good!

One of the hardest things were some deaths which occurred, 3 of which I feel I could have prevented, 2 of those were suicides and 1 of those people actually visited our house often - so I should have noticed something was wrong, but I didn't. I dedicate a lot of my time to making sure people know they are loved, and I hate knowing there are people out there who feel alone - right this moment, people are taking their own lives - if only they knew I am here for them and I love them. I know it sounds crazy but I do love everyone on this planet as if they were family. Those who know me will know that my words are important to me and I only say things I mean, so I'm being honest by saying I love everyone. Even you, reading this right now. I may know you, or you may be a lurker or just someone passing by, it doesn't change anything. So it really shook me when I failed 3 times in these past few months to do what I feel is my main reason for existing.

The reason I told you that (which is a bit personal for my blog, I don't usually blog about deaths or personal things in my life that much), is that I need you all to know that you have a sister here who cares about you. No matter what your age, gender, etc is - please know that I am here for you as a sister and you're loved. If you, or anyone you know, needs to talk, feels lonely or sad, etc, message me on Facebook. I check my junk folder often. I always say this but I want to say it again incase some of you don't know. Everything is confidential, of course. 

So, yeah, now I'll just get on with blogging, I guess!

I've been just doing normal stuff these past months, I didn't really take many photos though, here are some photos from a random day:
Pink!
I remember on this day I got drunk (what's new there?) and in this photo I was pretending I had a penis:
Immature as ever! Then we went for a drunken walk in the countryside but it was too cold so we came back early:
Happy Belated Easter to everyone! Neton made me some Easter eggs:
He said they didn't turn out the right shape but it was so thoughtful!

This has to be the poshest Easter egg I've ever seen!:
It was delicious too! I took the photo from Google because it's better than the ones I took!

I bought a pink wig from Ebay but it's nothing like the photo - oh well!:
It's supposed to be light-to-dark-pink gradient. However, it's just light pink hair on top of an ugly reddish-pink colour.

Yesterday, I started feeling a little better. My creativity, spontaneity and positivity have been pretty much lost for these past months but yesterday I felt like a fraction of them came back to me. I've started feeling a bit like myself again, which is why I'm back. I believe that I'll improve quicker from here on!

I even tinselled my hair:
Unfortunately, you can't see it much in the following photos!

We just went to our local pub, but it was so warm! We were outside for most of the night, even though it was raining! They had the fires on inside too! We felt like we walked into a furnace! When we were inside I had to keep using my fan to stop my face from melting! It's lucky that I carry it with me!
Afterwards, we went to get more alcohol and then went deep into the countryside. But OMG, it was so scary! It was ridiculously foggy!
When Neton was driving we could barely see the road in front of the car! When we were in the countryside though, it was pitch black! Like, seriously, we could not see anything. There were no stars, or if there were they were hidden by the fog. Remember that in the countryside there are no street lights or anything, we couldn't see the moon so it was BLACK! We couldn't see each other and it was so scary because a ghost or monster could have killed us/possessed us and no one would hear our screams and also, we wouldn't see anything coming! So, yeah, we didn't stay long in the countryside last night - I was too freaked out! Haha >_<

We headed home, taking photos along the way, of course! I love the background in this photo, ignore my face!:
So, yeah, that's about it for now! I apologise for my absence and, hopefully, I'll be back to my old self in no time! <3


21 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. lol woops i publish too quick, here is my comment

      *_* your are inspire me lhouraii with your kindness and heart. <333333

      Delete
  2. I'm so sorry to hear about those deaths, it's not ur fault tho. ur a martyr and i mean that in the best possible way lol x

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. I know it's not my fault but it just saddens me that I could have saved them. I failed them. I'm trying not to dwell on it too much though, there is nothing that I can do for them now, so my attention needs to be refocused on others who need me. I just can't believe I didn't notice they were sad - they both seemed fine. It just shows how scary it is that anyone could take their lives and the day before seem like the happiest person ever. <3

      Delete
  3. chin up girly itl get better soon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, my chin will be through the roof soon! I'm feeling much better! =] <3

      Delete
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    ReplyDelete
  6. We missed u! xoxo

    ~Chay.com~

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  7. I'm so sorry for your loss! I also lost a friend of mine long time ago. I was also really shocked and wished I had known his sorrows. And well... even I had a time where I was near the end. But you are right! Nobody should feel alone and if one lonely person has someone dear or someone telling him/her that she or he isn't alone, it can save a life >_<.
    I'm glad you are back! I missed you and your posts (^.~). My biggest condolence and I hope you will feel better, soon. It's hard to get over something like that :(
    (Coco9)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, I wasn't close to the 2 who took their lives but I was close enough to help them if I had known. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, I'm happy you're no longer in that dark place of your life - if you ever need to talk don't forget I'm there for you on Facebook if you need me. <3

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    2. Thank you, it was a long time ago but I never forgot >.< I too, always thought if I had known maybe I could help him. But I also think it's really hard when someone is in this kind of situation. There need to be spoken the right words, but often, those words can't be found to help them :(.
      Thank you so much, that's really lovely of you <3 I'm glad, too, that I'm no longer at this kind of dark place of my life >_< You're really a great and lovely person! <3
      (Coco9)

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  8. i'm really sorry for your loss and you're an amazing girl, this post will be useful for lots of gals/boys, what you've written is really precious and i'm so happy to have you as my inspo <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, I wasn't very close to the 2 who took their lives, I'm just sorry that I failed them when I could have helped.

      Thank you so much, it means a lot to me that you say that! =] <3

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  9. ur such a inspiration <3

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  10. I'm very sorry for your loss *hugs* :)

    Sorry for asking this now but how do you keep your hair underneath that wig? My hair is about as long as yours but I'm struggling with wigs... People tell me to braid my hair and pin it but then my head looks giant and the wig doesn't look natural...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I have trouble with it too - I do a few different things:

      - put hair in wig cap loose and then kind of massage the hair through the cap to spread it out evenly, then it's not in one big lump.

      OR

      - I braid my hair in two loose braids and then do then like this:

      http://img183.imageshack.us/img183/4589/siennabt9.jpg

      However, in that photo, she has her thick part of the braid on the top of her head. I always put the thick part at the base of my neck and the thin part on top of my head and pin it there. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say - I can't explain! I'll include a photo in a blog post soon.

      Good luck! <3

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  11. Hi lhouraiili! Wish you all the best! I would like to ask you for some advice. I bought a dress but it feels a bit too dressed up for everyday use, do you have any advice how to dress it down? You have an amazing style! Here it is: http://www.asos.com/Lydia-Bright/Lydia-Bright-Cap-Sleeve-Swing-Dress-With-Lace-Neck/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=3703369&SearchQuery=lydia%20bright&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=36&sort=-1&clr=Cream

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know how to 'dress down' things! Sorry!

      That's a beautiful dress though, I hope you can find a way to wear it for everyday use! =]

      Good luck! <3

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