Saturday, 28 December 2013

I'm Changing.

So, since all of these news articles have been published about me, I've had a ridiculous amount of hate.

"UGLY!", "Hideous!!", "weirdo", "Grow up", "Loser", "Sperficial Bitch, I bet she doesn't care about anyone but herself, no personality." "But she looks so ugly, nothing like barbie...", "She looks at least 40", "pointless".

They are just a SMALL handful of the comments about me. By the way, those photos were taken months ago and they're, without a doubt, some of the worst photos I have ever seen of me! There were nice photos too, so I don't know why they used all the worst ones. Anyway...

So, recently, I went to a wedding. The bride demanded that I wore 'natural makeup'. Of course, I tried. I actually did it... I went outside (to a wedding!) with natural makeup! I haven't done that for years!
And, you know what, I felt fine.
It, literally, felt like that scene from 'Shrek' where he's turned human. He goes out and is shocked to be treated like everyone else, so used to insults and pitchforks:


This was on the 19th of December.

Every time I go out, people actually stop walking to stare at me. They look disgusted. They treat me like a murderer or a pedophile. People spit at me. They point, they shout, they laugh. they ridicule. They ask me ridiculous questions. I was so used to this that I didn't question it. However, I experienced none of this on the 19th of December. On the 19th of December, I was an actual human being. 

So, today, I was checking my emails/comments/etc. They were flooded with horrible, and sometimes disturbing things. Even death threats/people hoping for me to die soon.

They seem to be under the false impression that I think I look beautiful. In case you didn't know, I hate the way I look (not my makeup, but me). I can't think of one part of me that I'm ok with. From my eyes, hair, even my toes. There isn't one part of me that I don't despise. People praise me for not having cosmetic surgery, but it's only because I can't afford to. If I could afford, I would change everything about myself. So these comments from others, pointing all of my flaws out, hurt a lot. People seem to think that if someone wears unique makeup/clothes it makes it ok to insult them.

So, today, I went for a walk. I thought back to the 19th of December - when I was a human being. I won't deny that I cried for a good part of the day. I was moping around, feeling sorry for myself. I considered ending everything:

- Selling all my things
- Moving away
- Changing my name
- Dying my hair black/brown
- Closing my shop/getting a 'normal' job
- Deleting everything I could of me from the internet

Who would recognise me? No one. It was strangely comforting.

Then I remembered a promise that I made to myself as a child. Few people know that I NEVER make promises. Every promise can be broken. "Promise to meet me tomorrow?" "Yes" *Gets stabbed to death* - promise broken. I only ever say something if I truly mean it.

However, there was one exception. I remember clearly a conversation I had with myself as a child. Even as a child, I was strange. I've always been my only friend. I've always been called weird.

I was observing how adults were. They were never happy. Always serious. Work, pay bills, watch TV, sleep. I made a promise with myself to never grow up. I think I was about 6 years old, maybe 7. I've kept this promise, and intend to keep it forever.

So, after remembering this, I thought:

'SCREW EVERYONE!'

People have been breaking me down so much that I almost abandoned my soul, and my promise to myself. If they think I'm weird now, they haven't seen anything! I'll show them weird!

I've always liked blue/silver skin, but I only wear in for fancy dress occasions. FUCK THAT. I will wear blue skin whenever I want to. 

I have always loved medieval clothes, but never made any - when would I ever wear them? FUCK THAT. I will wear whatever I want to. 

You think I should cut my hair? FUCK THAT. As soon as I can afford to, I'm buying knee length extensions.

I love tiaras/etc. I don't wear them because.... well, it isn't acceptable. FUCK THAT. I will wear them if I want to.

I plan to go crazy. If 'society' wants me to die/kill me for being myself, then I will be my absolute true self, no holding back. What is the point of living, if you're not living for yourself? I'm going to hold on as long as I can, I'm sure society will end me eventually, but I will try my absolute best to not let it happen. All that matters is that I stay kind, genuine and true to myself. I urge you all to do the same. 

We need some sort of 'weirdo revolution'.

I sincerely hope you took the time to read this through. If you did, thank you.

<3


134 comments:

  1. i think u look better natural. prettuer

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    1. Thanks, but I want to express myself with makeup. <3

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  2. Replies
    1. I actually cried reading this btw :'(

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    2. Thank you! And, aw! Thank you so much! <3

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  4. Tiara Revolution. ✨💙💛💚💜✨ I need to read your blog more, you make me smile...

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  5. You're beautiful, courageous and brave enough to be yourself. The ordinary people are the drones that derive no meaningful pleasure from life, so they hammer down those of us that stand out! Can't wait to see new photos. :)

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  6. i cant wate 2 see the new u hun xoxo

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  7. You be who were meant to be. I get that you've thought about plastic surgery and I have too. I hate almost everything about me so I have yet to have my own revolution. There's no definition of "normal" anymore. I will admit to questioning some of your looks when I first came across you, but you know what? I don't anymore. Yes, you looked beautiful at that wedding (and probably a good decision as I'm sure the bride wanted eyes on her), and you can do that anytime you wish. Just be yourself and all the ones who just don't get it can piss off!

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    1. Thank you so much! You're actually really pretty, from what I can see, so I do hope your view on yourself changes soon.

      I question some of my looks too! Mainly because I can't find any clothes I like, I guess I'll just have to make some! <3

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  8. that because u are UGLY HIDEOUS PATHETIC EXETERER!!!!! Go suck a fuck

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    1. How sad.. Kids still hiding behind anon . Must be time consuming to scour the internet looking for people to bash and to stay hidden. Disgusting filth

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    2. Exeterer? Learn English you low-class shitbag.

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  9. Lhouraii, you are so beautiful, don't change for anybody. If you are judged for being yourself, that only shows what they are like, not what you are like xo

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    1. You're welcome <3 never be ashamed to be yourself

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  10. I thought you were going to say that you were giving up and were going to start looking "normal". I was going to cry! You've always been a big inspiration to me because you always look how you want to and do what you do without following rules and regulations and that's always inspired me. I get a lot of comments too. I live in a small town in a backwards place in England and my skimpy clothes, bright pink hair and loads of makeup gets a lot of attention, some of it good but some of it horrible, including people calling me a whore and other kinds of comments. It does effect me because I'm a very anxious and self-concious person (I know how you feel when you say you hate everything about yourself) but it's people like you who inspire me to just ignore the haters and be myself and do what makes me happy and wearing what I do makes me happy and it shouldn't be anyone else's concern what we choose to dress like. ^_^ So keep on doing what you do because there are those of us out there who admire you.

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    1. Thank you so much. This comment really means a lot to me.

      I live in a small town too, a village, actually. In the countryside, near the Yorkshire Pennines, so I understand your situation too well!

      I hope you also keep living true to yourself and thank you for taking the time to comment, I really appreciate it! <3

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  11. You are the best, i love your blog and your personnality ! You rock the gal world Li !

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  12. WEIRDO REVOLUTION! IT HAS BEGUN! ^_^

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    1. Haha I genuinely hope it happens in my lifetime! <3

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  13. Please please never change! You're so great and lovely...i really like you how you are! I always read your posts here and on facebook and I'm proud to be in your friendlist on fb. So don't listen to all those bitches! They are jealous..I'm sure they are because every girl/woman is only bitching when she's envious of someone. So your way of living is great and right....I wish I would be like you...brave and strong. Please listen to your soul and your fans, we will always support you <3 <3 <3

    Coco9

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  14. Thank you for writing this <3 I also feel the same, I would love to wear my pink frilly dresses everyday but it's not possible, because people see you as a whole different person just because you wear different clothes than everybody else. But I will also never stop to wear it in my free time, nobody should tell me what to do, because it's my life and not theirs.

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    1. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I hope you get the strength to wear your frilly dresses everyday, if that's what you wish to do. Please live life for yourself, and not others. Their opinion of you won't matter when you're on your death bed, thinking back over your life and the things you didn't do because of them. Your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters. <3

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  15. Lhouraii li , keep being the lovely amazing you. You are huge inspiration and don't let them break you down. If you ever feel like slipping remember all of us who are there behind you letting our freak flags wave high. You are not alone!

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    1. Thank you so much for your support! And for taking the time to comment! <3

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  16. I just finished reading, and what you said gave me strength too! Thank you Lhouraii, you're an awesome, one of kind person.
    While some are mean to you, don't forget the ones who look up to you and love you!

    -Fan from Finland

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    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment! I appreciate it so much! Your words mean a lot to me! Thank you! <3

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  17. I love you for this post and I will become part of your weirdo army!!! Where do I sign up?

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    1. Haha thank you! A weirdo army would be so amazing! >_< <3

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  18. You are FANTASTIC. People will always talk shit about each other, simply to feel better themselves and to fill the empty gaps inside of their own heart.
    Please don't feel sad.. I do wish you could accept yourself as you are. You seem to be a great, joyful person with a big heart. Don't let others spoil that.

    :) Oh.. And.. Weird people are awesome.

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    1. Thank you so much! Yes, my kindness/big heart is the quality I'm most proud of! I'm happy you noticed!

      Thanks for taking the time to comment! =] <3

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  19. WOOOOOO! Go you! :D Screw the haters!

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  20. You look good with your natural style make up and your wilder styles! Express yourself however you choose :) Hateful people will always find something to pick at, perhaps they're quite unhappy? As you have an unusual style they judge you on first impression, at least you know they're dicks straight away!

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    1. Thank you! Haha that's a good outlook to have, actually! But yes, everyone is different, and has different opinions! I just need to stop letting other people attach their opinions to me, they end up clouding over my entire life, blocking out the enjoyment! <3

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  21. Replies
    1. Thank you so much! I will try my best not to! <3

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  22. This is the definition of inspiring~

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    1. Ah, thank you so much! It means so much to me that you say that! Thank you! <3

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  23. Gurlll seriously just f**k em! Life is too short to waste time trying to fit in! I usually find if I look too normal I actually feel more uncomfortable! Just stay who you are and the people who already love you will love you even more ♥♥♥

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    1. Thank you so much! I hope one day, people realise how uncomfortable it is for some of us to be 'normal'. <3

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  24. I love your style and you are a big inspiration to me! I love dressing how I like and I know how it feels when people put you down due to it. I lost friends because of this but in the end gained better ones since I stuck to what I loved. I think you look fabulous no matter what but remember its how you view yourself is more important. Be yourself, everyone else is already taken :D

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    1. Thank you so much! Your words are so kind! Thank you for taking the time to comment!

      I love your last sentence! It's fantastic! <3

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  25. I've always seen you as an inspiration! If you want to change you can do it but just because you wanted and just for yourself not because of plp and haters! Those will always exist but "Fuck that"! Keep being what you love being, don't stop being yourself even if for "normal plp" you'll look like a wierd girl, who cares !? Love the way you are and don't change for others if you doesn't want ;) you're an awesome person, don't ever forget that!

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    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment! It really means a lot!

      Thank you for your kind words! I will always try my best to live true to myself, I hope you do too! <3

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  26. You're beautiful and this post is a real inspiration. <3 Keep being you!

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  27. Wow, you're not the strange or weird one, but they are ! Hey what's wrong with being yourself, with having an appearance which is clearly just as you want it to be? You took the right choice to do what you want and you are pretty both ways with and without makeup. People love to judge and criticize but don't feel strange, they are the ones who are strange. Fighting, you beautiful girl !

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind and motivating comment! <3

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  28. I always think you're beautiful and a very sweet and nice person. Society likes to oppress and ridicule anything that's not status quo and to be honest even if you're a "normal human" there's gonna be things that come up in your life that people won't approve of because it's not "normal" (doesn't have to be appearance). Just be yourself, things that happen now will happen anyway.

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    1. Thank you so much! You're right! <3

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  29. listen to people like me who adore what you are doing and i say never let anyone tell you to stop

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  30. You're amazing really. I don't fancy your style but I really admire you that you are standing your grounds for who you are and expressing yourself with whatever you like . I have personally always been the conforming type but you really inspired me. I really feel like making a blog and following you. You're beautiful!

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    1. Thank you so much! I means a lot! There's nothing wrong with conforming, if that's what you want to do! There's nothing wrong with not conforming either! Just be true to yourself, I will try to do the same! =] <3

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  31. This inspired me a lot! First time maybe last year when I saw your photos on FB i was like: "wow really beautiful person"

    Greetings from Finland ^_^ v

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  32. Lhouraii. It actually meant a lot to me! Sometimes I feel like I'm so judge by the way I look and the things I wear, that I think about giving up and dressing and acting like everyone else. Your text made me realize that I also have to embrace the "weird" parte of me, that part of me that is unique and the one part of me I don't dislike. The part that I can change and adapt the way I want, and this is how i'll be happy. You don't have to change. You're one of the most unique, kind and sweet people i've heard about, since EVER! This revolution have to begin, inside of us all and so we can at least be free from what other people think! You're my inspiration, Keep up the GREAT work! ♥ And I'm sorry, english is not my first language.

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    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment! Your words are so kind, they mean a lot to me! I'm truly shocked at all the support I've gotten on this post, it really motivated me even more. So thank you.

      Your English is excellent, by the way! =] <3

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  33. i've never commented on any of your stuff before, but i follow you on facebook. i just want to say GOOD FOR YOU. i've recently had a big change, too. i've shaved my head, dressed the way i've wanted, i'm getting rid of nearly all of my possessions and you know what? it feels so great. walking into 2014 as ME and not some barely-there shadow of who i've felt like but never been able to express is going to be killer. and i hope you do EVERYTHING that you want to and MORE because fuck everyone!!! you ARE beautiful, whether your skin is blue and your hair is long or you're white and bald. if you're rocking a hot pink ensemble head to toe or you're naked with pointy nails. beautiful. be YOU and never stop!

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    1. Haha thank you so much! I really appreciate this comment!

      I'm so happy to know you're having your own revolution too! It really pleases me to know this! I wish you the best of luck with it, and with everything!

      Here's to a good 2014, and beyond! =] <3

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  34. I really adore your style for a longer time already and this post is simply inspiring to me :) I have to admit that even some tears ran down when I read this, because of the strength and meaning behind it! I wish I had the courage to be like you.
    Keep up with what you are doing and get yourself never turned down by anyone! :3

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    1. Thank you so much! To know that you shed a tear for me is really touching! I can't express my gratitude for your kindness and your comment. Thank you.

      I will try my best to keep being me! I hope you do too! <3

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  35. You are beautiful both with natural and "your" makeup and I think you are such a cute and lovely person! Changing because of the haters doesn't make any sense! You are so unique <3

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    1. Thank you so much! I will try to keep living true to myself and ignoring the hatred! Thank you! <3

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  36. You are beautiful with blue/silver skin. You are beautiful wearing fancy dresses. You are beautiful in medieval clothes. You are gorgeous with knee-lenght hair. You are beutiful with tiaras. You are beautiful without make up. You are beautiful with heavy make up too.

    You are so inspiring for me and I think a lot of people. Keep it this way if you like it, and let this weirdo revolution come true.

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    1. Thank you so much! People should hear they are beautiful more often. Thank you so much for taking the time to send your kindness to me! It means a lot! <3

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  37. I love your blue skin (must take long though)
    I agree, if people are going to attack you anyway at least attack you for who you are while you are happy with the look.

    It may not look like anyone dont support you, but if everyone seen and know what you go through there would be plenty of mail filled with love. We forget that compliments dont last forever but hate does, but its hard to keep up. Dont know how to explain it but-

    its easier to hate than love, its easy to tell someone to kill or hurt them selves but hard to say I enjoy your work as much as hate. Youll always have supporters even if we are invisible most of the time, hope that helps. For every hate letter their are 5 adoration letters that is sent from the heart or others.

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    1. Thank you so much for taking the time for writing and sending this to me. It really means a lot. You're right, it is easy to forgot the positive messages and remember the negative ones.

      I'm truly shocked at how much support I've gotten from posting this blog entry though, it's truly touching and motivating. Before I posted this, I felt as if I was alone, against an army of people wishing death and hatred upon me. However, now I feel like I have an army of supporters behind me, I don't feel so alone. So thank you so much for sending me support. I can't express how much it means! <3

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  38. This is amazing, you are amazing. The people who send you hate are sad, I feel sorry for them, they have no idea what it's like to be an individual. Rise above them though and try to ignore their nastiness. Be who you want to be!

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    1. Thank you so much!

      I will! I hope you do too! Thank you! <3

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  39. Dear Lhouraii,
    You give me so much strength to be myself! I can't imagine going through as much as you have gone through and I'm just so happy that you're saying screw them because those people have nothing better to do with their day and they're so used to natural or "normal" things. I remember when i went to school and i first started getting into Jrock music i started to style my hair like Bou from An Cafe and cover my books in japanese band photos and so many kids made fun of me because they had never heard of it before but i said screw them too and i'm still listening to them today! :D
    I love you girl! You are an inspiration <3

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    1. Thank you so much! I'm so happy that you're living true to yourself!

      I really hope society becomes more accepting soon! This world would be a much better place!

      Thanks for taking the time to comment and send your support! I really appreciate it! <3

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  40. That was kind of heartbreaking to read for the first half but I'm very glad to hear you will never be anyone but who you are and continue to express yourself as YOU see fit. Some people can be just awful but I think a big reason so many of them are is because they are quite repressed themselves. So few people dress or look the way they really want to out of fear of not being liked and that seems like a terrible way to live. Whether you chose to look natural or extreme, it's still you. It's still your mind, heart and soul and THAT'S what's important. I really pity people who don't realize that and only judge the surface, they miss out on so much in life. So keep up the good work, you are truly one in a million! :)

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    1. Ah, thank you so much! This is so sweet of you to say! Thank you for the support! <3

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  41. I know you from the GGA's (btw I respect and like your hard work for this) and my girlfriend just showed me your blog-post. Maybe you won't read this comment cause there are already that much comments here. But I want you to know, that your decision was right. A famous J-Rocker once said:

    "People who are themselves will always suffer - but never regret."

    I think you're very beautiful and your pictures in this post remind me strongly on Galadriel (for me one of the most beautiful women). Stay yourself, stay TRUE. Don't give a fuck on the opinion of ppl who does not even know you. The only opinion which counts is the opinion of your friends, ppl near you, you like and appreciate. Sometimes you need to wear blinkers (it helps a lot, blending all the idiots out ;|)). But you'll be happy and proud for being yourself, for not giving in the mainstream, for not giving up your promises and dreams.

    S T A Y A S Y O U A R E.
    You're great like that!

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    1. Thank you so much! That quote is fantastic! I will try to remember it!

      I also love Galadriel! So thank you so much! I love all the women from LOTR!

      Thank you so much for your support! <3

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  42. i love this so much omg this is so personal and so honest and i just how no words for how i feel inside...

    you are beautifull with or without makeup, and ur makeup is not only makeup its art!
    medieval clothing is also realllly beautifull i love it myself and i could wear it anyday i dont care what they think or say cause ill be happy with myself, not for them!

    i like this post so much cause now i dont feel so alone...
    i mean im not like others, and i live in a country were its not many people who likes to be diffrent, and if you are someone will always be a HATER. and it hurts, and i always end up crying...
    but after reading this it makes me feel strong...

    it makes me feel like its okey for us to be us and not them.
    we are happy as we are DIFFRENT, and nobody can take that from us, we are uniq
    and u are a rare dimond and i feel like ur my bestfriend even i dont know u or havent met u and u never met me ...
    but really i cant describe how amazing this is ...
    i hate it when i see things postet about you that is BULLSHIT, people who dont know u comment horrible things...

    if they read your blog they wuld know u are so amazing and caring and so sweet...

    i know what i write might be caos but its because im really out of words to describe...
    but this just madde me feel so calm and happy inside
    and i wish i could describe it better

    but u are really my favorite idol
    and ur succh a role model for young people

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    1. Thank you so much! This is one of the sweetest messages I've received!

      I hope you don't feel so alone anymore. If you ever do feel alone, please message me on Facebook. I will always be here to help you (or anyone else), as best as I can, as long as I'm alive on this planet. So please don't hesitate to message me if you feel down and need to talk.

      Thank you so much for your support! <3

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  43. I have to admit that you did look really stunning in the "natural" photos, but I'm glad you're not giving in because of some online haters and comments.
    It's really sad that you're actually USED TO being spat at, called nasty things and other horrible things!! Just that fact alone makes me really lose a lot of faith in humanity :(
    But I'm really glad you don't give up! You inspire me so much to never give up what I truly love just because society thinks that's not how a woman "should" look, and you are gorgeous, both on the inside and on the outside! Keep being strong!! I hope this next year will be an amazing year for you! :)

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    1. Thank you so much!

      Yes, it's crazy - I didn't even realise I was used to all of that stuff until I had my 'Shrek moment'! I was like "Woah, this is different..... it's nice!". I really hope society changes soon!

      Thank you so much for your support, and for taking the time to send me your comment! <3

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  45. I'm so sick of people vomiting their hate on every outstanding person they see. They're like zombies who want to devour your creativity and self-expressiveness and make you one of them. Isn't that scary??
    Just be yourself, and you will always be beautiful (and being beautiful is much more than just looking beautiful!)

    You've demonstrated you're able to fit in the """standards""" when you need it, so I can't see any problems. People who criticize you are the ones who constantly need other people's approval, and what they really have a problem with is you not needing people's approval, not the way you dress.

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    1. Thank you so much, that's a very interesting way to look at it. Maybe you're right! It makes me wish I could somehow help them also live for themselves, even though they're spitting at me and stuff! Haha >_<

      And yes, the zombie thing is actually too scary! I'm terrified of zombies!

      Thank you so much for your support! <3

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  46. Hi~I've never commented here before, but I just wanna say I think you are really strong and courageous for committing to your promise and just being who you are. Because you're a public figure, of course some people are gonna hate. Maybe you should stop checking mail for awhile...>.<lol Anyway, keep doing what you love!!! Never change for anybody else!!! Many people support ya!!!!!

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    1. Thank you so much! Ah, I can't not check my mail because a lot of people come to me for advice or for 'a shoulder to cry on' etc. But you have a point, I should try to ignore negative comments until I'm in the right frame of mind again!

      Thanks so much for your support! <3

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  47. I love u Lady Li! DONT CHANGE ! unless you want to for yourself. I plan to go wilder at times too! I look forward to your new looks!

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    1. Thank you! I look forward too! I bet people will actually vomit on me, instead of spitting once they see me out and about with my blue skin and medieval dresses! Haha >_< <3

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  48. I say you go girl, full steam ahead! let no one tell you how to go about your life! if they don't like it screw them, it's not their life, it's yours. Your canvas you paint and express yourself in anyway you want to!

    Enjoying your life is way better than being normal and trying to fit in, there's communities for everything. :D true, amazing people who are just like yourself are out there and you have embraced it and I Love You for that!

    Do your best and brush harsh words, from people who do not even know you, away. Gambatte!~

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  49. I cried so hard when reading this. You are beautiful with and without make up <3

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  50. I do think you're really pretty naturally and don't *need* to wear as much makeup as you do, but I admire that you do what you love, as uncommon as it may be. I too LOVE dramatic makeup and admittedly use it as a "shield" a lot of the time but you shouldn't have to. Either way, you look great. I can guarantee that all those pathetic haters are, without a doubt, supreme trolls and you're way way prettier than them, even if a cow took a dump on your face. Notice how it's always the bitter ugly ones who feel the need to flame with hate?

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  51. I'm willing to revolutionize with you !! reading this was like you'd tapped into my mind. I live in the city and as much as everyone thinks that it's accepted in nyc and it's fine it's really rough I still deal with a million insults daily thankfully I'm pretty ballsy and try to give zero fucks because I'm not myself if I'm not happy. Either the hair is ugly or too perfect to have it called a wig. So fully relating here. I've tried the "normal" thing but my personality still peaks out. So let's assemble the doll troops.

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  52. Don't let people change you <3 always be who you are ^^ Screw the haters <3

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  53. This is one of the most inspiring things I've ever read. I'm definitely not as famous as you are, so I don't have that many haters but I do have haters and I do know how it feels to be insulted and made fun of, specially ever since I started my blog. Like you, I have enough hating myself and thinking I'm ugly so I don't need those kind of people reminding me how ugly and ridiculous they think I am even though I'm not that weird, yeah I used to be visual and wear crazy pink hair and look like a doll but at some point I gave in to society and right know I'm kind of normal.

    Now, this is the conclusion I cam to after reading this post:

    -You are BEAUTIFUL, yes with capital letters, both looking natural and wearing tons of makeup. I understand that feeling of feeling beautiful and less insecure while wearing your makeup, that makeup you feel comfortable with and if that makeup is special, different from what people find nice and acceptable, yeah, fuck them! You are the one who needs to feel you are pretty wearing it, not them.

    -Haters gonna hate and some people is just stupid, that's not gonna change, but ( and this is a message to myself as well ) once again, fuck them! Don't never ever let those stupid fucktards bring you down because they don't even deserve your attention and your life is way to valuable to even consider them at all.

    -Whatever you do, please, never grow up, keep being yourself, keep being unique. After all, what does growing up even mean? you can grow up however you want to, and this is your way of doing it, that's all. Wear your blue skin, your medieval clothes and wtv makes you feel yourself. Never regret because that's what makes you, you, and that is something precious.

    Sorry for the bible I just wrote, thank you for sharing your hardships with us and once again, thank you for being the beautiful person you are, never change, you are an inspiration for many people, me included.

    Love n' hugs!
    Sumibunny

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    Replies
    1. I hardly know you, but you're cute, funny and have a personality that others are drawn to. Get it girl!

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  54. Hi! I've followed your youtube for a very long time, but i've only just found your blog. I've always liked your style, but more than that, I've always admired your bravery in wearing it. I have a different style (not gyaru) and I often dress up but I still get caught up in the constraints of society and get nervous about wearing what I really want..because I don't want to be judged... it takes real guts. Kyary says the world will be a better place if every wore what they wanted without fear, and i think she's right. Anyway I just wanted to say i really admire you, and I'm glad you're not giving up because of some haters. Haters mean you're doing it right ;>

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  55. You are very beautiful with your doll make up and without it. You are very strong and brave lady because you express yourself as you want. I love your style, your make up and everything about you!!! There will always be loads of jealous people around just don't pay attention to them. Remember that you got loads and loads of fans who love you ;)

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  56. You are truly inspirational. Your fashion is beautiful and vibrant, don't let those monotone boring drones get you down! I think everyone who dresses even the slightest bit out of the 'ordinary' gets those looks, though I can imagine how terrible an extreme it must be for you. Those people who send you mean things are just boring people, and you can see right through them, if at any opportunity they'll attack people who are different to what they consider normal. I'm so glad you'll be pushing forward and still being you, not what others want you to be!
    Your life is yours to do as you please, it doesn't even effect others so boo to them. keep doing what you love because you look fabulous doing it! :)

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  57. You are truly a beautiful person, inside and out.

    Xx

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  58. You are amazing and inspirational

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  59. You are really amazing, and I was honestly out of the gyaru trend because I'm worried about the hate I'll get simply because I wasn't doing enough to be a Gyaru in their eyes. But you're right, society is the worst of them all. And you gave me that inspiration and courage back again. I just want to say I think you look beautiful, and please never ever stop being yourself.

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  60. I love how you are Lhouraii! You are just amazing and unique, inside and outside, please, don't change ever!!!! This entry has inspired me alot! I want to join the weirdo revolution!! COUNT ON ME! <3

    Remember, people too weak to follow their own dreams will always find a way to discourage yours, DON'T LET THEM DO IT! DO WHAT YOU WANT!!!! We will support you <3

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  61. That's horrible what people said to you, and yeah you should just do whatever you want and not have to worry about it!! Good luck and keep fighting! You have my support! :D <3

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  62. Ive been following you for years, starting on Ricoche (that sounded creepy, lol)
    Wear whatever you want, as much makeup as you want
    Don't. ever. change.

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  63. I think you freaky and i like you alot <3

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  64. never ever change hun! you're beautiful just the way you are and to all the haters, it's just jealousy, stupidity or seriously needing to get out more.
    always be you hun and fuck everyone else :)
    x<3

    p.s i LOVE your style! and can I be part of the weirdo army too? :)

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  65. I dont know who you are or what you do .. but I love your look! Dont let anyone put you Down! remember all the good messages you get! you look amazing! i wish you could see yourself in the eyes of the people who admire you enstead of the people who are morrons <3 I love this blog post you're amazing and do whatever you want! you're a inspiration to many and even to me! I've never been on this blog before but just this one post moved me so much I feel the need to thank you for being yourself and i'll remember to do the same!

    Thank you darling, try to love yourself you're Unique amazing and beautiful all the way throught!

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  66. You know what? KILL IT GIRL! You deserve to be who you want to be whenever you want to be it. Everyone does!! Don't let others that don't know how to handle their own insecurities get the best of you. You are an inspiration!! Like some others, I thought you were going to give up and extremely happy to find out that you did the opposite!!! I have always struggled with my age (27) and whether or not it is okay to express my gyaru style (tsuyome/kurogyaru), but you know what? Fuck it! I will be who I want too.

    2014 - The Year of the Weirdo Revolution

    I'm ready.

    With love <3,

    A long time fan from Oregon, USA

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  67. I'm really glad that you've made this post. I've been thinking very similarly lately and you know what? No one INCLUDING YOU should have have to be insulted for being whatever version of themselves that they want to be. I've endured the same sort of bullying as you (but on a smaller scale). I hope that you stay as strong as you are now and that you continue to thrive in your own individuality. <3

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  68. At some point, I'm sure society will kill all of us. Better die standing than live on your knees right? And please don't hate things about yourself. I used to feel like that too, like I'm just ugly and I should just die, but you know, it's other people that make you feel that way. You're fine the way you are. Just fine. There are people who disagree but thats all right because YOU know you're fine. Hang in there and be you~!

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  69. I think everyone should have the right to wear whatever they want. It is just mean for others to go to this point of bullying for no reason at all. You are so brave! Be strong! No matter what, there will be people who disagree, but there will also be people that support you! Never give up on what you believe in.

    Honestly, I never really comment on any of your posts, but I like to read them because you are very funny and pretty. I would never be brave enough to do what you do, and even though I'm not gyaru, I think that your spirit and determination are a great inspiration to me and every human being.

    I hope you find peace with yourself and others!

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  70. I know how you feel! I've been so objectified recently I was thinking about goin back to how I was in high school. But I found out I like the new me where I party and have fun! I'm happy you're bit giving up!

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  71. I sincerely hope you can be safe while doing so, but definitely don't give up who you are Lhouraii! I too have had the urge to completely delete myself from social media and blend into the background at one point because it is simply so much easier and more comforting than to continuing fighting and to continue going against the grain. I lived that way for about a year and I felt as though I had lost myself, I didn't know who I was or who I wanted to be anymore. Only now am I starting to get back into self-expression and really getting to know myself again because once you succumb to what is "easy" and "comfortable" it is SO hard to go back to the world of criticism and not fitting it, BUT it is entirely worth it. I know this probably isn't helpful, but anyone who has the motivation to take time out of their day to write nasty things about people on the internet who they don't even know don't have a valid opinion whatsoever. I hope you can get to a point where you can be okay with, if not love yourself. All the best to you, Lhouraii C:

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  72. Lhouraiili,
    This post made me cry. It hurts me to know that you don't like anything about yourself when there is so much about you to love, inside and out you are marvelous, beautiful, a stunning, charming, smart, and talented woman. Diversity makes the world go round. People who hate upon others do that to make themselves feel better and are going about things the wrong way. I too have always been eccentric, not always part of the "in crowd" growing up in school. As an adult, I once wore a midevil renaissance dress and a tiara to a restaurant, people looked at me weird, and it was awkward a bit being stared at, but then I thought, maybe they wish they were me, maybe they wish they could be themselves all of the time too instead of trying to be someone they are not. Then shortly after two little darling girls came up to my table, and you know what? What they asked me next brought tears to my eyes, they asked me "Hey Miss, are you a Princess"?
    That is what you are Lhouraiili, you're a princess, with just as much grace and nobility as those who have been dubbed officially so. A lot of those out there hating on you, wish they were you, and they hate that which they can not understand, or that they are unable to obtain. Hatred stems from anger and anger stems from fear. Not being able to understand something and reacting in hatred is boiled down to fear of the unknown. I would like all of your haters to read my most recent blog post, perhaps it could open their eyes a bit.
    http://piper-of-pipers-lair-blog.blogspot.com/2013/11/be-careful-what-you-say-you-reap-what.html
    You are perfect just the way God made you, and God does not make mistakes.
    Sat Nam ☺
    Piper

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  73. I'm so shocked and upset that people treat you so badly because of the way you present yourself. It's so disheartening to know we aren't above all that yet. I think you look wonderful dressed up or dressed down, but like we all know, it doesn't matter what I or anyone else thinks, it matters what you think and how you feel yourself.

    I'm so glad that you're staying strong through all of this hurt, I'm so proud of you for that! I hope you can stay happy doing what you love and what makes you feel comfortable and I hope society changes enough in the near future to treat you with the respect you deserve.

    xox

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  74. We need more people like you in the world!!
    A lot of people are idiots, and if they see something slightly different from what they're used to they bash it because they don't know how to react.
    You are amazing! Stay strong!! Stay true to yourself!

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  75. Aww Lhoraii, You are beautiful! You can be anything you want, Do anything that makes you happy!

    Few years ago I started to follow the gyaru community, and oh how much hate did I get, even from my own friends. Then I changed. Only thing that remained of my previous style was my hair. But it didnt stop there, they started to mock my tan, clothes. I got prank calls. Then I just started to stay at home, and do all the things i always wanted.. secretly. I wished I would live somewhere else.
    After staying home for months, I decided that I am gonna be what I want, and if someone doesnt like that, they can fuck off, because I'm gonna stay this way. If my friends try to change me, they can go too. I dont need anyone. Then again, I headed out, looking like a "fake whore", as someone would've said. But that's me!

    I've been following your blog, utube etc. for a long time, and hardly made any comments. But this time I will, because I know what it's like and I dont want you to be unhappy. It's better to be someone you wish to be, rather than being unhappy in someone else's clothes.

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  76. I've gotta say...
    This post made me think a bit about my life...
    I've always loved those "weird look" as society calls, but I've never used it more than 1 or 2 times, and for a short time, I loved, but the hateful looks got me down, and I've never been 100% satisfied with my body, so, that's an extra to count
    but then I took a shot recently, and made a Shironuri photoshooting on the outside, in a hotel, and suddenly, all the hatefull look that the guests gave to me, were meaningless, because I was feeling good using that, I wass feeling good that I was expressing myself in a pure way
    so, yeah, fuck society, we've gotta wear whatever we want, because that will make us feel better with ourselves, and that's what it matters, in the end!
    I've gotta say that I loved your blog, and I'm already following it!
    sorry for the bad english, and your looks are awesome!!
    kisses!

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  77. Never give up! The world is so much better place with diversity and uniquely dressed people! x

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  78. Please keep being yourself! The world needs people like us or it would be too boring...

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  79. YOURE MY BIGGEST INSPIRATION!!!!

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  80. i think this is truly beautiful and inspiring, you are a person who i would love my younger siblings to look upto one day. you are a beautiful, strong girl and don't let anybody ever change that. the people who put you down have nothing else better to do, i laugh at those types of people because they are all the same, they are all sheep and they will never experience what life truly is as they hang in the shadows. this blog made my day and gave me faith in human kind. thankyou, please never change i beg of you.

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  81. Lhouraii you are the best! And I don't see anything wrong with silvery/blue skin, medieval clothes, knee length hair, etc. I love that you are kind enough to share your creativity with us!

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  82. You are such a sweet person. It shines through. Please don't hate yourself. You are unique and you are beautiful, inside and out. Wear whatever you want to, do whatever you want to, you aren't hurting anyone and it makes you happy. But remember you were happy and beautiful with natural makeup too, so it isn't only the fabulous makeup which makes you who you are and makes you feel beautiful - it's YOU. :)

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  83. Your post is very moving. Never change yourself for others, who are they to decide what is wrong or what's right! I personally love to see people who look different, because almost everyone grows up looking the same and boring. I can't believe others have been so harsh to spit at you or threaten you. That is horrible! They should be teached some manners, not you. Just remember you are right in doing what you love and from what I read on your blog you are not superficial at all.

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  84. I just started reading your blog. Honestly, in the beginning, I was really weirded out and shocked by your appearance and makeup cause I honestly thought "how could anyone think they look pretty wearing that stuff??" I am sorry that I thought those things about you.

    As I got to know you and read more of your posts, I admired you more. It takes a lot of courage and guts to look how you want to look, even if it is far from the norm. It takes a lot of skill and time and effort to do your makeup so meticulously and your hair and outfit and nails. It is not about putting on a mask, it is about taking it off. Of course every girl wants to feel pretty but everyone feels pretty in their own way. Thank you for teaching me that and for begin strong enough to overcome prejudices with love.

    You are beautiful with or without makeup and you don't need no plastic surgery!

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  85. I think your amazing and that post is so moving it had me crying at the end of the day it doesn't matter ehat yoi look like you have got a heart and these days not many people have there bitter and sour people out there and all I can say is atleast you have brought a bit of colour into this world and well yoir happy and u dont see that much these days good luck for future and well done chin up keep yoir head high! People are only interested in making u feel bad because they have boring and shit lives so live on and enjoy life the eay u want to xx

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